Miley Cyrus Is An Underage Drinker !!SHOCK!!

Miley Cyrus was busted in Spain drinking a Corona with some random fuckers that have tattoos. TMZ contacted Spanish authorities to see if she was in any trouble and they said as long as you are around 16, you can drink all you want. I dunno if this is Miley's first beer or if she has been sneaking airplane bottles of Jack Daniels after shows for years now but I am not surprised by this development. I am sure as soon as she is 18 she will release a sex tape because she is an attention whore like that.

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WTF?!

It seems that the people over at the Betty Ford clinic do not take themselves too seriously because they are letting Lindsay Lohan out of the clinic to do a little bit of shopping. WTF?! I have been in rehab before and those fuckers usually do not let you outside of the walls just to get your Gucci fix. I think this makes the clinic look REALLY bad. Anyway, bitch is probably bullshitting them the same way she bullshitted the court and is prolly doing lines off her bedset when they have their heads turned. I personally am grateful for LiLo's addictions because now that means I get a break from this hack. Well, sorta.

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Vanessa Minnillo Is Off The Market

It seems that that douche bag Nick Lachey has his heart set on dating the most beautiful women in the world and then marrying them. He did it with Jessica Simpson and now he is doing it with Vanessa Minnillo. Why can't this dude just make a sex tape with them and call it a day? Anyway, these two fuckers are gonna be married soon and if their honeymoon is anything like their vacation in Cabo where we saw Vanessa totally nude, then this is gonna be a great year.

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Taylor Swift Might Be Off The Market

Taylor Swift and that fucker Jake Gyllenhaal went on an ice cream date the other night and that is some lame shit that Taylor would do on a first date. Chick is such a goodie goodie. This also sounds like some lame shit that Jake Gyllenhaal would agree to in order to get into her pants. Anyway, yea, they might be bumping uglies but I am sure Taylor will milk Jake a while longer with trips to the Opera and picnics in the park before she even lets him get to second base.

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AnnaLynne McCord Is Back On The Market

Woohoo bitches! AnnaLynne McCord who is probably the best lookin' bitch in a bikini is now back on the market. Kellan Lutz who must have commited some heinous crime in a past life (cause he lost AnnaLynne) got dumped by this megahotty. This makes me happy because the next time me and her meet in a bar and I order her a cosmopolitan I can save the $50 on the Spanish fly and just ask her to bed which she will immediately accept because I am just that damn good looking. Life is good.

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Kim Kardashian Will Make Your Ears Bleed

It seems that Kim Kardashian is not happy with being one of the most famous people in the world and holding the Guiness World Record of having the largest ass on earth and wants to try her hand at music. Of course the only musician out there that made a healthy transition from..whatever the fuck Kim Kardashian does into music is Scarlett Johanssen. Of course no one really goes to her concerts for music but mostly just to stare at her boobs but I guess that is what will be going on with Kim. Only people will be staring at her ass and not her boobs. Unless she plans on singing with her ass facing the crowd, I doubt her career will go anywhere. I am definitely not looking forward to seeing Kim sing but she may surprise us. And that other guy in the photo? That is The Dream who helped Rihanna and Beyonce throw together some hits. Sad, sad man.

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Demi Lovato Gets Help

It seems that demi Lovato is going through some psychological issues at the moment and decided to postpone her tour until after she gets help. No one is quite sure exactly what is going on with her but she is not in treatment for drug abuse. I hope she gets better soon because if you are an avid reader of this blog then you know that Demi Lovato is my #1 crush in the WORLD. She is so cute and so cool and I really hope she gets better soon. #TeamDemi!

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If It's Halloween...

...it's time to see what Heidi Klum dressed up as. Heidi always goes balls to the wall with Halloween costumes VERY.SINGLE.YEAR. And I love her for it. This year I have no clue what the fuck she was or what her husband, Seal, was for that matter either. I just know they looked great and must have spent a shitload of time on their costumes. And yes, I would fuck a purple chick.

Sheen's A Druggy. Blah,Blah

Charlie Sheen went crazy this weekend with a bunch of hookers,booze and blow which sounds just like a typical weekend for the old Charlie Sheen but now a bunch of fuckers who say they "care" for Charlie think that he should say good-bye to drugs and alcohol and STDs and should find God and be a goody goody now. Anyway, I don't particularly like old or new Charlie cause the dude is a total douche and has no real interesting personality. I understand that Denise Richards was a paprazzi target at one point in her life and that everyone thought it was cool that Charlie Sheen was married to her but that bitch has been out of the press fro close to a decade now so I don't see why people are still obsessed with a guy who wakes up in the morning and decides that a bowling shirt and purple sunglasses are a cool combo. I mean who the fuck is this guy? Whoopi Goldberg? Anyway, Radar are the people reporting on this and I doubt it will get a lot of reprint cause no one cares about this guy but if things keep going the way they are, I am planning on writing a R.I.P. story on this dude soon.

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Oh How I Miss The Good Old Days

Remember back in the day (2006) when Nicky and Paris Hilton would show up to a night club or some shit dressed in little more than Victoria Secret underwear and Nicky had that awesome platinum blonde hair? I REALLY REALLY miss those days but we got a taste of yesteryear last night when the Hilton sisters showed up at the Playboy mansion dressed up for Halloween. Honestly, I think Nicky Hilton could give a flying fuck less about the holiday because her costume is the shittiest I have seen so far for the season. Paris looks pretty good though. Don't get me wrong, I would still do very nasty NASTY things to Nicky Hilton but if I had to be a judge of clothes (when I really like to be a judge of a girl with no clothes) I would say that Nick definitely phoned it in this year. I am sure the Hiltons did jello shots off chicks in the grotto and that shit would be awesome to participate in but my sorry ass lives in St.Louis and I miss out on all the good L.A. fun so I wish the paparazzi or the people who work at Playboy could publish some cool shit like that every once in a while. Anyway, this is just my pipe dream.

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Courtney Cox Is Not Coming Back On The Market

OK I am sick of this little bullshit cat and mouse game Courtney Cox is playing with the media first saying she is splitting up with her husband and then the next day saying she is getting a divorce and then immediately afterwards saying she is going to stay hitched blah blah. Bitch doesn't look good enough for me to keep up with this shit so unless this chick TwitPics naked photos of herself, consider Courtney Cox to be persona non grata... or whatever.

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Emma Watson Is A Dumbass

But a very hot dumbass. Apparently Emma Watson thought she was getting paid in candy bars and lolipops when she made her first three Harry Potter movies because she was shocked when her parents broke the news to her that she was indeed a millionaire. Of course she has been 18 for months now and is in full control of her $32 million fortune but I don't see why they kept her in the dark. Maybe they didn't really keep her in the dark. Maybe this bitch is just dense. A British accent will do that you know. Even though they sound educated and intelligent and proper doesn't mean that is always the case. Damn Brits. Tricking us with their native tongue!

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Lily Allen Had A Miscarriage

It is being reported that British singer Lily Allen has had a miscarriage after 6 months of pregnancy. This isn't some bullshit National Enquirer story, this is confirmed by her rep to People magazine. This totally sucks and is not the type of story I would expect to be writing about the day after Halloween but I have a sugar hangover and I figured a nice reality check would be perfect to start this week off. My thoughts and prayers go out to Lily and her husband and hope that she can find peace in the coming weeks and months ahead.

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