Michael Lohan Is Celebrating

I apologize for the shitty pic. I am sure no one wants to see Michael Lohan's nipple right now, or ever. But I just wanted to point out exactly how happy he is that Lindsay is going to jail. He even went out and celebrated after the ruling. I would be celebrating too. He did this just after an interview on CNN about his daughter. With all this shit going down, Michael is sure to make some serious moolah off of paid television interviews so his little cash cow known as LiLo will continue to pump out the big bucks for him until she rehabs her image and becomes and innocent little flower again. Which will never happen.

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Kate Moss Is Shy, Isn't

Kate Moss, who makes a living at taking off her clothes and showing the entire world her goody parts is being accused of being shy from some photographer dude. I am sure this guy is just saying shit to drum up publicity for some shit he photographed but the claims are unbelievable. Who the fuck is going to believe that Kate Moss is shy? I mean I am pretty sure I have a topless pic of her on the beach getting felt up to the right hand corner of your screen. Am I right guys? Am I right?

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Megan Fox Is Officially Off The Market

This is the wedding photo of that lucky fucker Brian Austin Green marrying Megan Fox. I am not really all that happy for him because me and about 2 million other people wanna marry Megan but as long as he has the good sense and wits to record their honeymoon love making, then I truly have no problem with this situation. I give this marriage a year. And I am being generous.

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Lindsay Lohan Is Going To Jail! For Sure!

OK I have not had the internet for the past week and just when the net goes down, Lindsay goes down too. I am back now and I am very pleased to report that Lindsay Lohan will finally be out of the tabloids, at least for a little while while she does time in the clink. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail but TMZ is reporting that she may only do 23 days. I hope she gets the full 90 day sentence. And check this shit out, she has until July 20th to turn herself in. That give her damn near two weeks to slip up and fall off the wagon and get more time behind bars. She is also going to be interviewed by a court appointed psychologist to see if she should do more or less time in the slammer. Also, she wrote "fuck you" on her fingernail apparently as a message to the judge. But who knows what the fuck she was thinking. This made me especially happy so I decided to celebrate with a pack of red bull. Without the Jager that is. Sorry Linds. Not everyone is as fucked up as you are. LOL!

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Lindsay Lohan Is Confident She Will Not Go To The Clink

Lindsay Lohan is probably still in deep shit with the judge that is ordering her to do all these AA classes but she thinks she will not go to jail. Her friends are telling TMZ that Lindsay thinks the lawyer in her case will make everything go away. I wanna see LiLo go to the clink more than anything else just to give us tabloid bloggers like me from the constant chaos that is her life. Anyway, she will be back on the sauce as soon as they get that little ankle bracelet off her so it isn't like she will be cured for life. Here is to hoping Lindsay get's two-six months.

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This Might Be Anna Faris' Ass!

Anna Faris is doing some nude scene in some movie I do not care about but the nude scene was leaked online today. I wish these pics weren't taken with some shitty camera phone so we could have some semblance of quality but I will take what I can get. Of course there is always a possibility of a body double but since Anna is so hot, I could care less if it is a body double because these pics are that hot. Words can not describe how much I would like to violate the chick in these pics. And if I'm lucky, they truly are of Anna Faris.

Jessica Simpson Is Off The Market Too

Jessica Simpson has some sort of weird fetish with men who playing in the NFL. I guess she likes to chug back protein shakes and lift weights with them cause the bitch has got some serious meat on her these days. She has her own show now and has zero chance of ever making it in the music world again because, let's face it, she was only famous on the stage because of her looks in the first place. What I wish I had more of is that fine little piece of ass that is related to her, Ashlee Simpson. I haven't seen her in the tabloids lately and I miss her. Anyway, Jessica's va jay jay found a new piece of meat. Good for her. I guess.

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Heather Locklear Is Sober

Heather Locklear was in rehab for the past few weeks because of a hit and run and because she was strung out on pills. I remember reading tabloids in the early 90's where Heather bitched about Tommy Lee's drug abuse and how she "put up with it" and now here she is off the wagon. I am glad she is sober now and maybe she will get desperate enough for attention ( cause her career sucks) to make a sex tape. I know it is wishful thinking but she better make one before the wrinkles set in because aging starts in 3...2...

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Jenna Fischer Is Off The Market

There are a lot of smokin' hot hotties in Hollywood but Jenna Fischer has a special place in my heart because she is a smokin' hot hottie and because she can make me laugh. She isn't so hot that I am going to stalk her anytime soon but she is hot enough to make me depressed when she gets married to some douche bag writer named Lee Kirk. Does that means he writes for The Office ? Is this incest? Oh yea, and in about a month the bitch will be knocked up and then the show will have to make up some story on how JIm and Pam decided to get preggers AGAIN. Bad timing Mrs. Fischer.

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Happy Fourth Of July!

Hello everyone! It is another year and yet another Fourth of July is upon us. Usually it is all about BBQs and what not but that shit happened on memorial day so I am not sure what motherfuckers are going to be doing today. I will be sitting on a deck in St.Louis watching fireworks explode in the distance but others have "special" plans. I hope everyone is having a killer day and enjoying the weather. Let's hope there won't be any rain! See ya tomorrow!

The Net

I will be back to writing as usual sometime tonight as I will be back in St.Louis and on my sister's comp. I will also send out a 4th of July blog post for those patriots out there. Stay tuned and follow me everywhere...

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Thanks for keeping up,

Tom O