Lindsay Lohan Thinks She's A DJ

Lindsay Lohan was in London this past Wednesday for the Nokia X6 launch party where

she tried her luck at being a DJ. Of course she was horrible at it, drunk and attempting to

smoke cigarettes indoors. All the partygoers had a horrible time and left early. I understand

that when people go to a club, more people will show up if Lindsay Lohan is there but she

should really leave the deejaying to the professionals. As far as I can tell LIndsay has abso-

lutely zero experience with music of any type. Oh yea she released a few solo records. I guess

that makes her a musician right? My ass.

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Tiger Woods Is Back To Playing Golf

I am sure Tiger Woods apologized the other week not because he was sorry, but because

he wanted to hit some balls without reporters and standers by asking him questions about

his relationship with his wife and 14 other mistresses. He was photographed practicing today

at a golf course near his house. It is a good place to practice too because the next golf tourn-

ament he plans on playing in is that very golf course. I still admire Tiger for his athletic skill

and still think he is pretty cool for sleeping with all those chicks instead of settling for the

old pussy day in and day out. But I still think he is a pussy schmuck for not apologizing

sooner and taking questions from the press. So 2/3's cool and 1/3 pussy.

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Daily Links

Lindsay Lohan is a writer now.

[ The Blemish ]

Sarah Palin wants to be a producer.

[ Fatback Media ]

Andrea Bocelli just got her star on Hollywood

Blvd. Andrea who?

[ Geno's World ]

Lesbian graffiti rocks.

[ City Rag ]

At this point you kind of have to wonder how

much Lady GaGa's wardrobe costs.

[ popbytes ]

Vanessa Paradis is afraid of Angelina Jolie.

[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

Debra Messing Is Coming Back To TV

I am not entirely sure why Debra Messing has been MIA for so long. She is incredibly
hot and has a killer bod. But she is just now getting around to doing a show called Wright
vs. Wrong on ABC. She plays a conservative pudit in the show. That is all I know so far
but as long as she is on tv she will not be stripping to her birthday suit in any men's mag-
azines. We will see how this thing plays out but they have my viewership for the time being.
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Elin Woods Will Stand By Her Man

I know there are a lot of robotic celebrities out there. Shauna Sand and Posh Beckham

to name a couple. But the number one robotic celeb out there these days is Tiger Woods.

His apology to the American public was about as entertaining as watching paint dry on

CSPAN. A truely boring individual. And if Elin Woods, his wife, can truely not find anyone

more exciting to spend the rest of her life with, then she needs to get out of the house more

often. Basically is comes down to dollars and cents. She wants a fat paycheck from Tiger if

they get a divorce and Elin found out that she will not be getting it so she decided to stay

with him and support him during hard times. ($).

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Daily Links

Megan Fox is hard to get into bed.

[ The Blemish ]

Rihanna is being sued.

[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

Rachel Bilson is all smiles.

[ Celebrity Puke ]

Heather Graham nude scenes never get old.

[ City Rag ]

Burt Reynolds had heart surgery.

[ Daily Stab ]

Lindsay Lohan finally shows (a little) ass.

[ Egotastic ]

Johnny Depp Is Hittin' That

Vanessa Paradis is topless on the most recent issue of Elle magazine. All I know
about this chick is that she is a french singer and model who is married to Johnny
Depp. I am truely jealous of Johnny Depp at this point. He got to work with my
favorite author Hunter S. Thompson on a couple of occassions and lives in France
where as he describes is "paradise" and he gets to fuck this chick when he goes
home every night. Oh yea, and he is People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. Me=
jealous.
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Michael Jackson's Kids Are Crazy

It is being reported that Michael Jackson's children are wildly tazing each other.
Jermaine Jackson's 13-year-old son ordered a stun gun off the internet and some-
how the young ones got a hold of it and have been tazing each other for some time
now. One of the targets are Blanket who I think is MJ's youngest but I am not sure.
Maybe they recorded some footage of all of this and will use it when the Jacksons
get their own reality tv show. Yea, like that is gonna happen.
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I Am Glad I Am Not Charlie Sheen Right Now

OK. So. We all know that Charlie Sheen is in rehab and is probably going to divorce his

wife Brooke Mueller. To be more specific she is going to divorce him. Now this third

party chick, no doubtedly hot, is coming forward saying that she slept not only with

Charlie Sheen but with Sheen's wife, Mueller too. In fact they had a three-way. I

uusually happy when a dude gets to have a three-way with his wife and some random

hot chick but in this case it will cause Charlie Sheen to lose his kids and probably stop

acting on one of the funniest shows on television. All I am saying is that if Two And A

Half Men gets cancelled cause some slut wqanted some media attention I will be very

pissed. Very, very pissed.

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Jessica Simpson Wants To Be Private

Jessica Simpson went on Oprah Winfrey's show to talk about how she wants to keep

her sex life with John Mayer private. She also opens up about her weight and how

people criticized her about her weight not too long ago. This girl is about as irrelevant

as they come. I am not sure why the paparazzi even follow her around anymore. Does

she do shit that is awesome that people just seem to forget to report about? She has

a new show coming on VH1 which is a channel where celebs go to die and she will

attempt to keep her star in the sky as a reality tv loser. I won't be watching but a

bunch of ugly teenage girls who some day wanna look like Jessica Simpson probably

will.

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Daily Links

Audrina Patridge shows us her awesome body

in an awesome bikini.

[ The Blemish ]

There is one less Pussycat Doll and one more

d-lister.

[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

Kim Kardashian doesn't have shit on CoCo.

[ City Rag ]

Lindsay Lohan whores herself for fashion week.

[ Fatback Media ]

Miley Cyrus out for a stroll with her pedo

boyfriend.

[ Daily Stab ]

Laetitia Casta's tits come out to say hello.

[ Egotastic ]

Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Are Getting Divorced

OK so nothing is in stone yet but rumors are circulating by sources close to the couple
that Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are goig to get a divorce after their court case is
over. Brooke left rehab by the way and is "doing rehab at home" because we all know that
the best sobriety is white knuckle sobriety. This bitch is chilling at her house suckin' the
glass dick while Charlie is in real rehab trying to kick his addiction to booze and cocaine.
This is about the most dystfunctional family I have seen in years. Anywa, I hope Charlie
lives up to the standards of his character on Two And A Half Men, Charlie Harper and
starts sleeping around with anything that moves.
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TomKat Might Have Another Kid

Katie Holmes underwent intensive "auditing" for the church of scientology the other
day and that is what she was doing just before she gave birth to Suri. I think it would
be great if TomKat had another kid cause Suri is probably the cutest kid in the world.
We will see if Katie gets pregnant and to be honest, I doubt Tom's sperm has what it
takes. I mean the guy is pushing 70 now right? Anyway, stay tuned and we will see
where this goes.
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