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Saturday, December 02, 2006

Johansson and Portman crash Xtina party

Maybe London does know how to party more
than America. Cause they are the ones with hot celebs
crashing hotter celebs parties. Natalie Portman and
Scarlett Johansson, two of America's finest cuts of meat
showed up late Dec.1 at London's Paper Club and
decided to throw down on the dance floor. Scarlett
and Natalie are together filming The Other Boleyn Girl.
The thought of these two dancing together on a dance
floor until 3 a.m. drives me up the wall. Xtina was
pissy because they stole the limelight after Xtina's
sellout Wembley show. I did however read the
reveiws of her recent Wembley shows, and they all
say the acoustics are hideous.After dancing for hours
Portman and Johansson plopped down beside Xtina
in the VIP section, when Xtina fixed them both with a
harsh stare before storming out of the nightclub.
Soon followed other A-List celebrities. Its a shame.
Johansson and Portman are nice girls. I am sure
they would have gotten along with Xtina. I could
only imagine what would happen if they really
hit it off.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 3:37 AM

Friday, December 01, 2006

Becoming a Whore 101: pole dancing

Things are heating up at the Paris cathouse. Just
recently while having Britney Spears over for a guest, she
decided that flashing her cooch and hanging out with the
worlds most notorious dickhead Brandon Davis was simply
not enough to convince the world she has completely
dropped all her inhibition and that marrying KFed was far
from the worst thing she could have done.According to The
Sun, "Paris took Britney upstairs in her house and fitted her
in a blue tu-tu, and then Paris put on a matching tu-tu.
They then went downstairs and danced on Paris' in house
stripper pole." Why doesn't it surprise me that Paris
has an in house stripper pole. I mean being the world's
biggest slut takes work. She has to practice. This can't
be all that bad. I mean if Britney is dancing on a stripper
pole, she will have a chance to work off some of that Cheeto
baby fat. I am sure the next lesson from Paris to Britney will
be a proper way to give a blowjob and how to torture a
chiwawa to the point of suicidal tendencies. I don't
mind Britney perfecting her sleazy skills to the point of
red light employment, but she does this in the mist of
trying to rebuild some semblance of a music career. Apparently
Pharrell Williams is not taking this respectfully. She
snubbed him while this was taking place."Pharrell
takes this as a diss.It's bad.Pharell even had a basket
of gourmet cupcakes sent to the Marlin Recording
Studio where they were set to work together!" I mean
this isn't a choreographer or a Tinseltown acting agent.
This is Pharell Williams. Maybe if at the next meeting he gets
a basket of sex toys and Doritos and she will be in attendance.
In the meantime we can chalk Britney with one for the
slut side, and zero for the career side.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 11:41 PM

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Sex and The City the movie

Bon bon huffing housewives will get their two hour fix once
more when Sex and The City the movie hits theatres probably never.
HBO is now in talks with the celebrities of the once A-List sex
hungry,maritally deprived foursome. All of their movie careers
are doing mediocre at best these days. except Cynthia Nixon
who barely landed a guest spot on ER. I personally could not
bare to sit for two hours in a movie theatre with wahtever chick
dragged me there to see four nymphomaniacs talk about their
periods and how they love to buy Gucci before they make a night out
on the town.The show was painful, and of course no nudity
from Sarah Jessica Parker, which we were all expecting. I myself
will be on a cinematic hiatus when this hits box offices. But maybe
they can teach movie goers how to improve relationships. And
then fuck their brains out.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 8:40 PM

Mel Gibson sympatizes with Michael Richards

" I like him." Gibson says of Richards. He spoke
candidly about the racist tirade from once mainstream
comedian Michael Richards. " I feel badly for the guy.He
was obviously in a state of stress." He told Entertainment
Weekly.I personally like Michael Richards. But could you
imagine if these two were in the same room together?
People would think it was a klan meeting. When asked
what Mel thought of Richards critics, he said,"They'll
probably torure him for a little while and then let him go."
Does everything have to be about torture for Mel Gibson?
When asked by The Associated Press what Richards might
do after the tirade,reguarding people wanting to work with
him, Gibson was more than reassuring that no one will
hold a grudge against Richards." No people aren't like that.
Thos are just the headlines:'Mel Ostracized by Hollywood!'
Hollywood is what you make it.There is no great poo-bah
up there saying, Go you are Condemned!" However, it
is a different story from people working closest with Richards.
A former actor who used to work with Richards on his failed
television show, The Michael Richards Show said that he feared
for his well being every time he was on stage with him. He
confessed on Howard Stern," He made threats to everybody.
He once told the producer,'I will kill you.I have a gun and I will
do the time.' He could be extremely abusive." It seems like we
are getting two different reactions from this Michael Richards
story. Either way, he will continue to be chastized on the Jesse
Jackson radio program, until Richards can find his own inner peace.
In which he will then build back his career to the D list acting
jobs and comedic gigs he was partaking in before this incident.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 8:14 PM

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Nick Lachey straight up tells Jessica he is Marrying Vanessa Minnillo

I can't blame him. If you were him, would you leave Jessica
for Minnillo? I would. I am getting married agin Jess, and I wanted
you to hear it from me." He was reported as saying. Right. I would
have called her just to hear her cry. That's alot for Jessica to handle.
An ex moving on and right before your sex tape drops. I am still
captivated by the picture above, and I hope Nick releases a sex tape
of Minnillo as well. A source was quoted as saying, "After the phone
call Jessica did all she could to contain her emotions." By that
I am sure she meant getting a piggy back ride from daddy.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 9:16 PM

Jessica Alba wants to be a skeleton

So now we have the most smokin hot woman to walk the
planet earth saying she wants to be skinnier.She is quoted
as saying, " I have curves, but I really dont like them. I wish
I was skinnier and taller." Looking at the picture above I can
tell you this is the textbook definition of no room for improvement.
I love Jessica Alba, and while Britney Spears and Paris Hilton
are puking on stages and flashing their pussy to the paparazzi,
Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson and the rest of the classy
young crowd are working on their career and perfecting their
sex appeal. I hope she overcomes this awful concept and rejuvenates
her confidence by posing in Playboy.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 8:43 PM

Wild on Brooke

Brooke Burke, need I
say more?
[Popoholic]

Britney Spears' vagina
is more famous than
Paris Hilton.
[ A Socialite's Life]

The future caretaker
of KFed. [ DListed]

Sean Preston Spears,
the next Blanket Jackson.
[ Defamer]

Paris is scanning at
Kinkos. Probably
pictures of herself.
[Egotastic]

Celebrities gather to
celebrate release of
VW's new SUV. What
does it look like? I have
no fucking clue.
[Popsugar]

Lindsay Lohan has expensive
fetishes. [ IDLYITW]

If Wilson and Hudson mate.
[City Rag]

Joe Simpson loves being
incestuous with his daughter.
[ Pink Is The New Blog]

posted by pepsiblogger @ 8:12 PM

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears to host Billboard Music Awards

Yuck. This is odd. It looks that Paris and Britney
Sparis, is going to be hosting the Billboard Music Awards
together. It is set in Las Vegas next week.Live on FOX
Dec.4. Good lord. Neither of them are scheduled to perform.
I am sure there will be a publicity stunt. Britney will rip
off her pantiless skirt and grind the podium as Paris shoots
ping pong balls out of her bagina. It comes as a releif that
Paris will not perform. Does she know how to perform?
I have never heard of a Paris Hilton concert. I don't think
she knows how to do that whole "perform" thing.They will
begin their segment with another KFed skit. Instead of
lowering him into a cardboard box and throwing it into a
river, they will connect car jumpers to his balls and shoot
him with a paintball gun. Will they? I don't know. This
is a cry for attention, for Britney to show how much she can
actually suck and for Paris to show how how indifferent she
actually is for the well being of our pop stars. I am also sure
Britney will wear her Little Miss Sunshine shirt on the show.
Make sure you catch it, it will be the freak show of the year.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 2:04 AM

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Nelly Furtado wants to upstage Natalie Portman

Nelly Furtado, pop/RandB,hip-hop singer thingy, has said
that she is very much so in love with Gael Garcia Bernal. She
said that she has had a major crush on him since seeing The
Motorcycle Diaries. Right now Bernal is dating Natalie Portman.
Dream on Nelly, he is dating one of the single most beautiful
women in Hollywood. I don't think he is going to ditch an A List
star to date a girl who likes to kick it on the urban front yo.
" I am very in love with Gael Garcia Bernal!" She was quoted
as saying. I know Nelly was about to do Playboy, and I still
want her to, but setting her sights on whoring away a man
from Natalie Portman is just way out of her league.Though
this can be a good thing, it could throw Natalie Portman back
on the market.Then maybe she will hook up with a sleaze
bag and make a porn tape. I can dream.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 4:14 PM

Britney and Paris dyke it up in the men's room like a couple of average Joe's

Some call them Spilton. I can't see how you can turn
away from Sparis. Thats what they need to do, spare us from
this lame ass publicity stunt to further their career. If they
have any friendship at all, it is purely tabloidial and sexual.
Paris will never have a good pop CD and Britney will never be
a hot model. Recently the two were at Guy's in Beverly Hills
doing friend things of course. Apparently avoiding Lindsay
Lohan and planning their next planned upskirt pussy slip.
However they took a break from their air headed, bubblegum
pop brainstorming and decided to retire to the john. The Men's
john. A bystander was quoted as saying, " the two cut the line
when I was halfway there. They ran inside and locked the door
for a half hour.After the wait, the man who had given them
cuts bum rushed the door and broke it down with his shoulder.
I DEARLY wish that I could report back that they were cutting
lines on a urinal with their Amex Black Cards, or that Paris was
was teaching Britney how to properly flash her genitals to the
paparazzi but alas, I saw nothing.They bitched the dude out who
broke down the door and stormed out into the hallway full of
bladder challenged gentlemen." Jesus God. What the hell are they
doing? This was written for speculation. What could they be doing.
If you were in their shoes and looking for hardcore attention
anyway you could get it, and already had the paparazzi following
you to and fro to your short and meaningless recording
sessions, wouldn't you lock yourself in a bathroom with Paris
Hilton? Guy or girl. This further along bisexual rumors and also
further alongs KFed's custody case against Britney.This would be
a smokin hot occurence if it were lesbian action, but it is for the
tabloids. I will keep an eye out for further genitalia exposure
but I am sure this is the last report of lesbian possibilities.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 1:56 AM

Monday, November 27, 2006

Teri Hatcher throws tantrum on set over shoes

Apparently it is important for 40 year old skank
feet to be well covered and unable to effect those around
them when filming Desperate Housewives. Teri Hatcher
while filming a recent episode of Desperate Housewives
"threw a temper tantrum" when she couldn't get the
shoes she wanted for filming. She insisted on wearing
Jimmy Choos and none were available of the 37 pairs
available. Why is she being a diva? She should be lucky that
she got into the Superman premiere on a senior citizens
discount. I wouldn't think her shoes woul dget worn out anyway
what with her being pushed around in a wheelchair all day
anyway.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 9:45 PM

Why do A List movies when you have a sex tape

Apparently Simpson has a sex tape. It is reported that
a tape has been handed over to The Red Light District and
soon will be leaked onto the internet. They contacted Jessica
and threatened to release it unless she pays an undisclosed
amount of money. Ok there are a number of reasons why this
rumor is bullshit. First it is coming from a British tabloid which
pretty much makes up all its stories and never turn out to be
true. Second of all, if The Red Light District got its hands on a
Jessica Simpson sex tape, it would have already made it. They
would make $100 million + dollars with a sex tape of her. And
Jessica does't have nearly that much.The video stars Jessica and
Nick Lachey. A rep for Jessica is quoting her as saying she is"
freaking out that her and sex tape are being mentioned in the
same sentence." So does this mean there is a sex tape. Did she
consent.If she is worried, there must be one made. Either way
I'll beleive it when I see it. And buy it.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 4:49 PM

Triple threat of slut

My gonorrhea meter is topping the charts. I could not think
of how this scene could be more fake or skanky. Its a car wreck
pussy slip and chiwawa torcherer all rolled into one. Britney is
taking a break from writing a cd and putting her career back on
top, Paris is dreading her upcoming fourth season of The Simple
Life, and Lindsay Lohan is going out of her way to do everything
possible to ruin her acting credibility in her upcoming critically
acclaimed movie Bobby. This is like seeing three dictators in the
same room. Yes they are all very powerful, but when comes to it,
they are not much smarter than the person bringing them coffee.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 4:31 PM

Pam Anderson and Kid Rock marriage, run time four seconds

I hope the Bull God was smart enough to make a sex tape.
Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have been married a grand total of
4 months. They wed on July 29th and had an amazing ceremony
in St.Tropez. This is to be expected. I mean why wouldn't Pam
divorce Kid Rock. This was the trendy thing to do. I mean she tried
to get on the baby bandwagon, and she had a miscarriage. She tried
to get on the adoption bandwagon, and realised she would be
spreading more disease in those third world countries than the
countries would spread to her. So she decided that divorce is the
right thing to do. The reason is irreconciliable differences. Apparently
her with Hepatitis C and him with herpees, the two STD's don't get
along very well.Where will they go from here? I am sure they will get
married about this time next year and divorce two months later.
I hope someday someone will show them their birth certificates and
they will realise they are too old to keep getting married and divorced.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 4:04 PM

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Scarlett Johansson makes cigarettes sexy

I am Scarlett Johansson, I am a famous actress and I am
stressed out, so if you don't like it when I pollute the air and
give you lung cancer too fucking bad! Scarlett Johansson has
little consideration for others when she is going through a
rough time. She is chain soking in her apartment and her
neighbors can't stand it. She smokes with the windows closed,
fogging up the hallways with smoke. When the supervisor was
alerted, he confronted Johansson and she was quoted as saying
" Don't you read the newspaper? I am going through a rough
time right now." I am sure the neighbors pick up their daily
local post to learn about the habitual activities of their famous
neighbor. The supervisor then suggested that she crack a window
to prevent further complaints. She then sarcastically retorted
"Sure, I'll open the window and that will fix everything."
I would not be complaining. Actually I would ask if she needed
any cigarettes as I was running to the local store. More than
likely I would be in her aartment trying to woo her away from
Josh Hartnett. In case you are wondering what she is so stressed
about, is Hartnett being in New Zealand filming 30 Days of Night
Amber Sainsbury. They have been away for maybe a month.
I am sure they are not breaking up and she really has nothing
to be stressed about. But in case you were wondering if Scarlett
Johansson can be a diva, heres proof.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 10:00 PM

Hilary Duff wants to skankify your New Years

Is Elizabeth Arden broke? Is she desperate for
attention? Why else would she fashion a perfume around
the smell of Hilary Duff? She is releasing the fragrance
before the Christmas season and is going to be in direct
competition with Britney Spears' Curious. They are both
released under Elizabeth Arden. The fragrance will be
called "With Love." The designer is actually going to
model the perfume after the personality of Hilary Duff.
Rodrigo Flores-Roux is quoted as saying,"It combines
mangosteen,exotic woods, and amber to represent an image
of love in all its many forms and dimensions." What the
hell does Hilary Duff know about love? If they mean
donkey sex with her psychotic goth boyfriend Joel Madden
then I am sure the sales won't top Febreeze. And on top
of that, it costs $119 a bottle. I could have sex with Hilary
Duff for half that.

posted by pepsiblogger @ 8:57 PM

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